I met a wonderful sister for lunch. Let’s just call her Jamilah. She told me an incredibly story of hers which I felt should be shared with everyone.
Jamilah was not very close to her mother and they can’t get along with everything. Even for a small matter, they would have an argument, “I love her but we are just two different people.”
Jamilah met a Pakistani brother from her university and they became close friend. Not long after that he proposed, she accepted the proposal despite her mother’s disapproval. “At that time I don’t care about my mum’s feeling, I just want to get married with this brother”. Her mom’s heart was thorn between two, her daughter’s happiness and her perception towards the brother. She doesn’t feel that the brother was right for her but she agreed because she wanted her daughter to be happy.
5 months after her marriage, Jamilah was diagnosed with a back bone injury and according to the doctor there is a high possibility of becoming paralyzed for her entire life. At the most difficult time, her husband sought her permission to go back to his country since his parents are calling for him. She had to take work leave for 2 years because the injury doesn’t allow her to make a lot of movement. “I suffered too much in between these two years but out of all people, my mother took me in”
After her husband came back, she noticed a difference in him. “I know something is troubling him, I could see it in his eyes but when I asked him, he said that there’s nothing to worry about. So I thought everything is fine”. Only after one year, she discovered that her husband had taken a second wife and with a child!
“I discovered his marriage picture in facebook but the women that was standing next to him wasn’t me. He told me that he was forced into the marriage and that he didn’t love her. So, I asked him, I understand that you are forced into this matter…but saying that you don’t love her? Then how could this child even born in the first place?”
After a lot of disagreement with her husband, she manage to get a divorced. “I kept the divorced matter from my mother. I didn’t want her to know at the time because she became very ill and I didn’t want to upset her. I just felt that whatever difficulty that I am facing now is the result of all the pain that I had given to my mum”
Her mother’s sickness became worst and had to be transferred to the hospital for operation. Jamilah decided to take one month off from work. “I took care of my mother for one month in the hospital and out of 25 years of my life, I never felt so close to her. The best part was that she told me that she had forgiven all of my faults. I cried knowing that her love for me was bigger than all the difficulty that I had given her”
Her mother didn’t survive the operation. (Inna lillah wa inna illaihi rajiun)
Jamilah left me with a beautiful advice, “Serve your parents while you still can. I do believe if your parents strongly feels about certain things, listen to them.. Don’t do something while your parents are still upset about it. Serve them and serve them first and inshaallah, Allah would open up their hearts. ”
As I walked back, I was thinking…..how blessed I was that I met her. She took years to learn the same lesson, God wants me to do it differently, biznillah.
[ So, I called my mum :’) ]
May Allah make us of those who are the best towards our parents.